Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say

Old news via code_poet:

• 12. Specifications are for the weak and timid!


• 11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!


• 10. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.


• 9. Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!


• 8. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.


• 7. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.


• 6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.


• 5. I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.


• 4. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!


• 3. By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!


• 2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!


• 1. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!

But that's the mood I'm in....